How To Be A Dick – For Dummies

Ever wanted to be a certified Dick?

Well today is your lucky day, because today we are going to show you step by step, how easy it is for you to become a …DICK!

  1. Firstly, it is essential that you change your christian name to Richard:

2.  Always tell people that you are 25 (for around the next 30yrs usually works best)

3.  Make sure you are always too scared to leave home, and stay living with Mummy and Daddy until they either a) Pass away and you get evicted by the brewery, or b) Throw you out and tell you to try and live like a normal adult. Here is a famous Dick still living with his Mummy and Daddy:

Richard Swann


3. Be sure you are photogenic:




4.  Be sure to apply for X-Factor or Britains Got Talent…just to show off your vocal chords:


5. To be a top notch Dick, it’s imperative that you only date the most gorgeous ladies out there:


6.  Last but not least, always remember, it’s not easy being an official Dick. But once you get there, there is no coming back. Once a Dick, always a Dick!

*Image Courtesy Of Shawnio:

























2 Thoughts to “How To Be A Dick – For Dummies”

  1. Shocked

    Wow, I thought this blog was really above a bullying post about someone’s looks or weight or income level!

  2. The Tattoo Artist

    Now theres a name i have not heard for a While The Northern Monkey. He was into the more shall we say larger than average Woman ( No Bullying ) Guess it gives him somewhere to hide.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.